When That Small Voice Shows Up

There’s that part of us that wants us to stay small.

 

Despite how painful it might be, staying small is in many ways easier.

 

It’s more comfortable. It’s what we know.

 

So that voice that jumps up and tells you  you can’t, you shouldn’t, your not good enough? That voice is designed to keep you were you are.

 

It’s designed to scare you, but it is not evil as many ego-bashers would have you believe.

 

It scares you because it’s scared, not because it seeks to harm you. It scares you because it’s scared of taking that leap out of your comfort zone and believe what that other voice says:

 

Yes, I can. Yes, I’m strong. Yes, I am enough.

 

And that small voice serves another purpose; it presents a challenge. A choice.

 

In doing so, it plants a seed. A possibility that, if watered, can grow into full bloom.

 

This small voice brings with it potential. Potential for expansion. It brings the opportunity to choose whether we believe it or not.

 

Do we want to stand in our knowledge that we are strong, gorgeous, flowing, sexy, smart, fun, successful, deserving, open goddesses/gods? Or do we want to believe we are small and needy?

 

Who do we choose to be, every moment?

 

The truth is, the largest potential for growth lies in watering the seed, not the full grown tree.

 

That small voice that makes us feel fearful, separate and alone presents us with a choice between terror (hide, run away) and vulnerability (stay open, see what happens).

 

This can be the most fertile soil if we know how to work with it. If we stick around.

 

This is why, when this voice shows up? Notice. Be grateful. Water it with love and appreciation for the role it plays in your journey. For being there for you in your learning.

 

And then try to stay open.

 

See if you can sit in that uncomfortable space without trying to change what is. It’s your opportunity to practice equanimity (or radical acceptance).

 

And as you allow the feelings and thoughts to flow through you without snagging on resistance, you’ll see the nuances… the changes. You’ll see how fickle those thoughts and emotions are.

 

And then you’ll see them float away leaving you feeling more loving towards yourself for not having shut that part of you down.

 

Leaving you feeling courageous for having allowed yourself to be the full expression of you.

 

 

______________________

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Did you find this helpful? What are your thoughts? Please leave your comments, reflections and experiences below.

 

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4 thoughts on “When That Small Voice Shows Up

  1. Hi Melody, nice to hear from you again. The fundraiser was not the success I would have wished; I’ve learned from the experience, and I’m sure I’ll do better next time. Nevertheless, we raised $145 altogether.

    I do have some comments and questions I’d like to share.

    Based on my understanding of part of your approach. There is a small voice (in our heads) that says, I’m not good enough and another that says, I am. Ignore one and cultivate the other. Something like an affirmation.

    What if I tell myself I’m strong healthy and vibrant, but the reality is that I’m coming down with the flu?

    Who we say or tell ourselves we are, is not necessarily in line with the truth of the moment or the particular point we are at in our life. In another example, smiling when we are actually angry.

    What I’m trying to say is that going from one orientation psychologically to another is simply painting the blue walls of a jail cell green. Ultimately, you’re still behind bars.

    Fear doubt anxiety are among the layers we need to shed. Or do we? To be a complete human being we need all of our emotions. Hate anger jealousy are just as useful as love, compassion, and endearment.

    So, why do we get “snagged” by our emotions? What if I had the thought that Roger is really rude (the emotion would probably be irritation and annoyance; probably some anger too) and someone needs to teach him a lesson. Have you ever had a thought about a person you were in a relationship and intimate with and found yourself getting aroused. I know I have.

    So what is my point? My point is that our thoughts trigger physical reactions in us. We think, and then we act, or have a reaction.

    But what if our emotions are just emotional energy? What if the thoughts we have regarding our experience of life are recognized as our personal perspective or opinion about what we are feeling? Very seldom does how we feel about a situation actually match the reality.

    What if we are willing to be our anger, our jealousy, confusion without attaching our thoughts (which are our personal point of view) about them. Experiencing our emotions directly.

    If I hear a song (for the first time) that inspires me, It’s a great song and I love it. But what if I listen to it 50 times in one day. Come on, I like it, but enough already.

    If we allow ourselves to experience our emotions directly, Without attaching our thoughts about them, what happens? They become an old song. Anger, yes, I’ve felt that before. Hate, oh yeah, I’ve heard that one too. What happens? We become less dominated by them. If we can be with our happiness and depression, excitement and sorrow over and over again, what happens? They become more transparent and loose their power over us. What needs to be shed is the thoughts we attach to our emotions, and to have the courage to face them directly; but no one wants to hear that. We rather smoke, take drugs, have too much sex, watch too much TV, convince ourselves it’s not happening whatever our personal style is. We want to analyze, we want to figure it out. Depression, anger, they don’t feel good, therefore something is wrong and we’ve got to find a way to fix it.

    Until we can see that, in fact, nothing is wrong. That all of our emotions are OK, and actually useful, and be willing to experience them directly, we cannot grow, and life will shrink us.

    I’m not good enough. Oh yes I am. These thoughts are related to a range of emotions. If we shed the thoughts and realize their unreality, what are we left with? We are left with the direct experience of our emotions, and the more we can do this. Believe me, it never ends. We will not have to do this just once. No, we do it for the rest of our lives. But what happens? As time elapses and we know what it is like to feel our emotions directly. We don’t transcend them, but they more, and more, loose their power over us, and we can act in spite of them.

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    • Hi Rudy!

      Thanks for sharing your perspective. From what I understand from your comment, it seems we are saying the same with different words.

      I never said to cultivate the “I am enough” while ignoring the “I’m not enough.” In fact, what I said was to give attention, love and appreciation to the latter, while believing strongly in the first one. Both exists at once, and both are legitimate parts of ourselves. What we are seeking here is to integrate through awareness.

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  2. Thank you for this post today. I am playing small in so many areas of my life because it is comfortable. The voice is scared and I am feeding into it. Even when I step outside my comfort zone a little bit my ego goes crazy. There is growth ahead and I am so glad I was able to read this post and see my potential growth coming. Thanks.

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