Repressing Happiness?

Hello, dear ones!


How is this 4th of July weekend treating you?

Yesterday, I went to see Amma, the Hugging Saint from India. She’s making her annual stop in NYC, and the place was packed with people soaking in the atmosphere, eating the delicious food, offering donations and time, and waiting to receive her hug.

If you don’t know anything about her, this is a woman who’s desire to offer and give love was so great, that people worship her as a saint and a goddess, and built all this infrastructure for her to be able to follow this desire.

She is an inspiration to me, and millions of others.

Looking at her, it’s incredible how she gives hug after hug after hug non-stop, without food or pee breaks, while the rest of us need our distractions while we wait for hours to receive her embrace.

It’s always a beautiful thing to witness and experience.

The reason I’m writing about this is because something happened yesterday that I wasn’t expecting, and I’d love to hear if it resonates with you.

As I’ve mentioned in some of my previous posts, I’ve been experiencing some growing pains as I grow bigger and more visible.

I was feeling some sadness yesterday, and being a believer in allowing emotions to run their course, that’s what I was practicing.

I remind myself whatever I’m feeling is temporary, and that it carries a lesson with it if I get through it instead of around it.

So, there I was, feeling content to be feeling sad while watching the whole interplay and inner dialogue happen. All those voices I talk about in this diary. Witnessing what was going on inside me, at the same time being grateful for my ability to practice this.

And always reminding myself to take a look around and appreciate the amazing abundant life that I lead.

I was pretty ok with where I was, feeling this temporary sadness that I wasn’t sure where it came from.

As I got in line for my hug, I was in a very meditative state, drawing closer and closer to Amma. I was feeling at peace.

And then, I was finally in front of her, and she took me in her arms and hugged me whispering in my ear.

Out of nowhere, I started laughing!

You know that kind of uncontrollable laughter that bubbles up for no reason?

Yeah, that!

It was like this sadness was wiped away, and I walked away in a state of joy.

Later, as I was talking to a friend about how people experience being around Amma, he said he believes she brings out whatever is being repressed.

That struck a chord.

Whoa…. Was I repressing my joy???

And you know what? This voice inside of me went


Duh! Because you’re uncomfortable being happy., You feel like it’s a bubble that’s gonna burst any second so better just feel sucky all the time. That way, you can be comfortable because you know what you’re getting!



I’d come across this before, but I never thought I was doing it.

Now I’m wondering when I learned this… What was it that happened in my life that set this pattern up?

If this struck a chord, please…



Jump in!

I’m very curious… How does this resonate with you? Do you feel like you do/have done this? What are your feelings/thoughts/opinions on this?

Please remember, this is a forum for sharing. No advice is being solicited, so please… None should be given.




4 thoughts on “Repressing Happiness?

  1. If you have lived around people that wasn´t feeling good – for sure you have repressed joy lots of times and perhaps lots of years. That´s one thing I feel about this. I might write more later.


  2. I’m not sure if I’d been repressing happiness, but a shift in my focus to feeling good as much of the time as I possibly can has changed everything for me – really profound.


  3. Pingback: How To Dethrone The King Of Sorrow : ) | Customer168Service

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