I Can’t Keep Living a Lie

  
Is it courage? Maybe… Or maybe it’s just necessity.

I can’t keep living a lie… Or maybe not a lie, but the things that are not as true for me as this.

(Sometimes I think I lack conviction, but this here is proof that it’s not true… I actually have a lot of it. Maybe too much.)

Maybe this is reckless and not how ‘life should be lived.’

But there’s so many ways to live life. Why listen to those who don’t choose deliberately, but follow and conform to the default?

Are they happier?

Not really… They are just more comfortable.

[Excerpt from my written musings this morning. Picture taken of chocolat chaud and a cafe creme at Cafe de Flore, one of the oldest and most prestigious coffee houses in Paris, where (eventually) famous writers and philosophers used to sit, ponder and discuss life].

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Expert at Nothing

Hello, lovelies!

Happy 2014!

Last night, I arrived at Ak’bol, the resort in Belize where I’m hosting my latest retreat (starting tomorrow!) in collaboration with Valerie Greene.

What can I say? There’s something about the combination of tropical climates, beach, and lovely welcoming friendly island-type people that gets me right back to my center.

This morning, my body so very naturally unfurled into my mantra and yoga practice, and it was delicious. So much devotion and love for myself poured through, so much gratitude for having brought myself to this place and this moment!

To feel the stirrings of my becoming aligned with my natural rhythms again…

I haven’t felt this aligned in ages, and it’s quite literally divine.

Then, I headed down to the beach restaurant where my body asked for a healthy meal of scrambled eggs and veggies, and continued my day by laying out to soak up the sun on the pier.

As I lay there, slathered in coconut oil as usual, this thought struck me:

Ha!

With a lack of a sense of urgency, I have a natural talent for laying about enjoying the present moment and being curious about what’s in fort of me.

I’m never bored, always exploring within or without, or practicing patience and trusting the process.

I tend to struggle with how to define what I offer and the thought that I could be the Expert at Nothing (as in ‘more being, less doing’ and allowing ourselves to be undefined, unfolding into ourselves every moment with trust) tickled me very much.

What do you think?

Sending you warmth from the tropics,

Melody

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To Force or to Let Go?

Happy ChooseDay, Beloveds!

I’ve been pondering a lot on one of the biggest lessons I learned while I was long-term traveling abroad by myself for the first time.

Things come back in this ever shifting spiral of experiences that we call Life, always deepening the roots of the lessons we have to learn.

I had *trained* myself to be a ‘good spiritual person;’ someone who doesn’t judge or get angry, who is always compassionate, and coming from a place of ‘oneness.’

I had a healing from the wonderful Ciara Kirby, and all that was wiped off.

I found all the anger I didn’t even know I had inside, and found myself being easily irritated by the smallest things. Things that I would have brushed off so easily before, they wouldn’t even have registered as irritants.

I did not like it one bit.

And I was scared that I was going to be like this for the rest of my life.


I had to let go of my past self, but what if I didn’t like the me I would become?

I had to develop such strong trust and faith in the process.

In the end, everything I has *trained* myself into came about again, but naturally and not from who I thought I ‘should’ be.

In loving myself as I was, even in those dark places I hadn’t known in me before, I found there was room for the anger, and the judgment, and the compassion, and the ‘oneness.’

After all, how could there be compassion for others if I wasn’t compassionate towards my own human emotions?

This goes for everyone.

You can try to force yourself into becoming the person you think you should be, or you can let go, trust the process, and melt into the person you are meant to be.

We live in a society that’s very much about achieving through discipline and force.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

There’s something beautiful and magical about the combination of letting go, and having trust, and having compassion for ourselves as we move through the process. It leads to a very powerful balance that feels right and true because we’re not shutting out any part of us.

We feel loved and enough because we are loved and enough by ourselves.

And that’s some powerful shit.

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Clean, Clear, Full, Expanded and Connected Bliss Is Yours!

Hello, Beloveds!

I hope 2012 is treating you fabulously so far.

Over here in Thailand, I’m enjoying the natural surroundings, amazing people and going deep into my ability to get out of my own way and squeeze the juice out of life.

Just this morning, my meditation practice left me so full of energy that I felt like screaming for joy at the top of my lungs.

And yesterday, I was blessed with an ecstatic dance party under the sun, palm trees and even deliciously refreshing rain, surrounded by lovely people fueled by their passion for life. Everyone was glowing and smiling at each other as they surrendered to their bodies’ need to shake, shake, shake to the music until they could shake, shake, shake no more.

There was so much bliss in the air, that you could physically feel it. Breathe it in and fill yourself up like a balloon with it!

Just looking at others in the eyes, witnessing them smiling with their whole being… The joy bubbling up from inside of them was so obvious that you could literally feel it making its way through your own body.

An ecstatic love bomb exploding in your heart, the energy of which is so immense that you can hardly contain it with the barrier of your skin.

All this, without a drop of alcohol. Without a touch of any mind-altering substance.

It is possible to experience this kind of clean, clear, full and expanded kind of connected bliss. This is our birthright, and it’s a crime that most people don’t even know it exists… let alone have experienced it.

I feel so blessed and grateful that I have had the pleasure of embodying this feeling on repeated occasions and, lately, more and more often.

In fact, it is increasingly clear to me in an experiential way (and not just an intellectual one) that this feeling is there all the time and it’s only a matter of tapping into it by getting out of my own way.

The simple strategies and techniques necessary to do this are coming more and more effortlessly to me as a result of my self-love practices, and life is in full bloom.

It is simply unacceptable that this is not available to all, and this is why I am making it my mission to spread the news.

And I would love your help.

Now, here is the shameless bit of self-promotion:

For women who are ready to step into their power through simple daily clean and blissful strategies, I’m offering my Orgasmic Woman: Self-Love and Sensuality Retreat in the fabulous paradise in Koh Phangan, Thailand.

This is the same place I am now and, as you can see, it is pretty spectacular. It’s the kind of place people change their flights back for and decide to stay for a while longer (sometimes, they change their flights several times!).

The magic of this place is like a magnifying glass that really allows us to take a look at what is holding you back, bring acceptance in, and transform it into the sweet, sweet  pure and clean pleasure, love and joy that comes from true connection.

I’m sure there are other hot pockets of magic on this planet, but I’m not sure when I will find them or when I will be holding a retreat there.

This one is happening in a month and, if you sign up within the next 24 hours… you’ll get $500 OFF.

If you or any woman you know would like to learn how to get out of their own way and tap into their power through utter bliss, please do yourself or that person a favor and urge them to get in touch with me as soon as possible.

This New Year’s Resolutions Insane Special ends on January 16 at 12 pm ET.

[As a side note to the scrumptious men who have been asking me for a retreat of their own, do not despair. It’s coming soon!]

Always with pleasure and love,

Melody

Don’t Be Jealous. Be Inspired!

Dear Beloveds,

Happy 2012! And, as one of my friends just told me, happy infinity as well!

I am writing to you today from beautiful Had Tien beach in Koh Phangan, Thailand… where, despite the fact that it’s now 4:40 pm, the celebration is still going strong.

It’s such a joy for me to be able to spend a few months here every year to recharge.

When people find out about my yearly ‘break,’ their reaction tends to be…

I’m so jealous.

You know what I say to that?

Don’t be jealous. Be inspired!

The honest truth is that everyone can have this sort of freedom. They only need to believe it is so, and then put things into motion to make it happen (or allow it to happen) in their life.

I speak from personal experience, and I cannot stress enough the idea that we can have it all! Yes, we can have the cake, eat it… and love ourselves and our body!

I can hear those voices in your head right now.

How??? No, we can’t. It’s impossible. Life just doesn’t work that way. If it did, no one would be miserable. Only the lucky or special ones can have that, and I’m not lucky or special. I don’t deserve it.

And that is the difference!

Those ‘lucky’ or ‘special’ people? The only difference between them and you is that they feel good enough.

They feel really truly worthy of what they desire, so they go and get it.

They don’t let pesky voices stop them. Their belief in their deservingness is so strong that there is no self-sabotage happening.

This year, I invite you to really look at those voices in your head and ask yourself if you really truly believe them.

If the answer is ‘no,’ then follow it up with writing down what it is that you do believe about yourself. And throughout the year, practice reminding yourself of this, your true thought-feeling, whenever the voices come up.

I wish you the most pleasure-filled, ecstatic, transformational year… yet!

 

 

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If you enjoyed this post, are a woman, and one of your resolutions is to harness your power and create a life full of vibrant health, energy, creativity, sensuality and passion, you might be interested in my upcoming Orgasmic Woman: Self-Love & Sensuality Retreat.

11 scrumptious women will get to join me in this Thai paradise to explore practical ways to bring more bliss into their lives on every level (physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual).

This is the year that you get comfortable in your own skin!

I want this for you so bad that I’m doing something totally crazy:

I’m offering a 50% discount for women who sign up before January 15.

This is your year! Are you ready to take it on?

Totally Orgasmic!

And now, for my annual totally orgasmic day in Thailand post!

Unlike the last one, this might be completely irrelevant to your life. Keep reading at your own risk!

I just cannot help but share this because it feels so utterly yummy that I’m going to explode if I don’t.

I’ve been fasting for 4 days now (I’ll be eating again tomorrow). My brain has slowed down and I’m very aware of my senses.

This came in spectacularly handy today, when I spend a few hours with a fabulous man petting me and playing with my hair… without expecting anything in return. Bliss!

(By the way, excuse me while my brain kicks in for a few seconds to say that more men need to do this!)

And then, hoola hooping fun, delightful conversations with lovely beautiful people… Plus, chanting with another fabulous man in the steam room!

It was better than an orgasm. And it lasted the whole day!

And you too can have this kind of feeling. Just get Naked!

But really, the point of this whole post?

I have no clue. Just had to share!

So I’ll leave you now with huge…

MUAHS!

The Power of Vulnerability (and other announcemements)

First of all, I’ve stumbled upon a piece of genius in the shape of a TEDtalk in which brene Brown explains the power of vulnerability.

Which is exactly what Naked Wellness is all about. I’ve never doubted the fact that we find everything we want when we allow ourselves to be visible and vulnerable but, not only is she explaining how it works, she is backing it up with scientific research.

Check it out!

Please share your thoughts on the comment section of this website.

Moving on…

Second, this will be a a quick-fire round of announcements, since I’m currently in beautiful Thailand and the beach is beckoning.

You see, I’m on my day off from the month-long yoga teacher training I’m undertaking in the island of Koh Phangan.

After years of teaching the more philosophical aspects of yoga, in just a week, I will be certified to teach the more physical part of yoga, the asanas (postures).

Which, yes, means that I will be teaching a whole lot of Mo’ning Yoga on my rooftop with a view of the Manhattan skyline once the weather warms up in NYC.

That’s announcement #1.

#2 is the upcoming workshops.

The first one will be on March 29th, and it’s directed to women who would like to rediscover their inner goddess.

The second, on April 12th, is open to all genders and will focus on breathwork for emotional release and clarity.

Please go to the workshops page for more info.

Announcement #3

Since Naked Wellness is about making ourselves visible and stepping into our vulnerability to find our strength, I figured,… what better way to show you what I mean than throwing myself out of the plane without a parachute?

So here’s what’s gonna happen:

On April 20th at 12:00 pm EST, you will call in to the conference line (details coming soon) and will have the opportunity to ask me anything regarding life, the universe,… everything!

And I promise my answer will not be “42.” *

I will not have a clue of what you’ll be throwing at me, but I promise you I will answer to the best of my ability.

Topics I will mostly likely be able to answer with a higher degree of knowledge are:

– Nutrition
– Interpersonal Communication
– Confidence, body image and self-esteem
– Emotional Release
– Spirituality
– Living with purpose

But, seriously, you can ask me whatever you want as long as it’s not a waste of time for the rest of the people on the call. This guarantees that, at the very least, this whole endeavor should be pretty entertaining.

Please RSVP here.

Yippeeee!!

* Side note: if this reference flew over your head, go get yourself a copy of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

Naked Wellness is Going International!

Ok. So this isn’t so much a blog post as it is an announcement.

And I’m so very excited to share it with you!

I kind of ruined the surprise with the title but, in my defense, I couldn’t help it. It’s just that I’m that excited about it!

Are you ready?

Here goes…

On February 27th, I will be leading the Come Back Into Your Senses workshop in the sweet paradise island of Koh Phangan, Thailand.

!!!

Yes, it’s so very hard working from paradise…

……

Oh. Where was I?

Right! This is the part where I explain what exactly this workshop is about. Which is…

We’re not just minds, and we’re not just souls.

Our bodies serve a purpose, are incredibly wise, and they deserve to be honored.

So, if by any chance you happen to be around (or decide to stop by), please do yourself a favor and stop by the Life Spiral Center at The Sanctuary, Koh Phangan, to remind yourself of why you should stop fighting with your body to behave the way you believe it should, and reconnect with the many pleasures of having an embodied existence.

We will experiment with breathwork, meditation, sensual movement and mhhhhmmmmoaning!

By bypassing the thinking brain, we will open up the communication lines with our body, gain clarity around its needs, boost our confidence, creativity and sensuality and have a magnificiently fun time getting out of our minds.

As a result, we will be able to tap into our body’s wisdom as another tool to go after our dreams and find more joy and pleasure in life.

Ahhh… the joy!

Ahhhhh… the pleasure!

And it’s all happening in beautiful southern Thailand, where we can run into the sea and have delicious fresh young coconuts after we’re done with the workshop.

Mhhhhmmmmm….. I can’t wait!

Mhhmmm… Random Moaning (and why I don’t care what you think)

So, I’m back in this space. And it feels wonderful.

WONDERFUL.

In fact, it feels scrumptiliciously awesome-tastic!

Really. I have to make up words to describe it, and those don’t even begin to remotely touch how good it feels to be back here.

So much pleasure! It’s like I’m making love to life, and life is returning the love back to me. I cannot contain myself!

Mhhmm… It’s so good I find myself randomly moaning at the magic of it.

People around me must think I’m insane but I don’t care.

It feels that good.

By now you must think I must have found the love of my life and I’m sharing some fantabulous moments with him here in the idyllic islands of the south of Thailand.

But no.

Well… Not exactly.

What happened is that I found me. Again.

And I had missed me so much!

Back when I left my home in New York City, I was in this space. I had connected to my gut, my intuition, my inner guidance. The fountain from which things started flowing, and life just happened effortlessly.

I felt empowered in my own self and in my woman-ness. (Femininity seems too weak a word for what I’m trying to express).

I felt like “the shit.”

No, I was the shit.

I could tackle anything, get any man I wanted, build a community and a business around me, look absolutely fabulous in the process.

I walked proudly, with a straight back and an open heart, feeling the power of the muscles and the strength of the bones underneath my skin.

Everything was alive and vibrating with energy.

It felt delicious!

And then… I left.

I left for my adventure, which was absolutely amazing in its own right.

But different.

While traveling, I lost my self. I started doubting my self, wondering whether or not I was doing the right thing.

Should I go back home? What was I trying to prove? What is it that I was looking for? Do I really need to visit all these places? Is it curiosity and growth or just an escape?

The past 3 months especially, there has been lots of questioning. Mostly, the doubts came from me not being in a supportive environment.

Which is not to say others are to blame. I was the one who put herself in those environments.

It’s also not to say that there’s anything wrong with the people who made up those environments. They just weren’t people that I felt completely comfortable with, so that I started withdrawing.

Putting up walls and acts.

I stopped being authentic and living from my center.

But the place I’m at right now in Koh Phangan is magical and helped me gift myself the best gift I could have ever wished for this holiday season.

I got my self back, and I’m committed to make it stick this time.

This is why I’m changing my plans a bit.

I was intending to go to India at the beginning of the year, but now I feel I need to make the space to solidify this experience and fully integrate this part of my self into my life.

So I’m staying put for a bit. And maybe, instead of going straight to India, I’ll go to Bali first.

We’ll see.

I will do what feels right at the right time.

On a slightly unrelated note, I hope you all have wonderful, WONDERFUL holidays and a that 2010 is the year in which you become/keep being “the shit.”

Wherever you’re at, embrace it, enjoy it, and LIVE it with every cell in your body!

Stuffed! I reached my limit…

… and I must let it all out. I think this is why I haven’t been able to write at all lately.

I’ve been living in my head too much. Thinking. Pondering.

But not acting on my thoughts or my intuition.

As you can see from my last post (both in content and the frequency with which I’ve updated this blog lately), I’ve been stuck here for a while.

I arrived at Phu Quoc Island (Vietnam) this morning, and being near the sea has helped me put some of my thoughts together (the vastness of the ocean tends to do that for me). I’m glad to get some much needed rest and time to really and honestly reflect, without shying away from what’s going on inside me.

I’ve been traveling with the guys for a little over a month. Despite it being fun, for a while, I’ve been feeling a  restlessness I haven’t been able to shake. Even though everything is beautiful and I’m visiting many new and exciting places, I’m not enjoying my journey 100%.

There’s something missing.

Traveling with other people, I feel like I’m always following someone else’s path, doing what someone else wants to do, hanging out with the people others want to hang out with, eating where others want to eat, and on and on..

In short, I’ve been compromising for the sake of the group. While it felt right at first, I no longer find joy in it because I don’t like the way I’m behaving.

Eating unhealthy food. Being judgemental. Letting myself be drawn into arguments about unimportant matters. Letting my wounded ego take over when someone says something hurtful. Feeling stagnant and out of place.

It’s not always the breaking of my good habits . It also has to do with the fact that, in being in a group, it’s harder to meet people on the same wavelength as me. The guys are adventurous, and we all love to go trekking and stuff like that.

But they’re not into yoga. They’re not into meditation. They’re not into spirituality, faith, or a holistic lifestyle.

So I’m starved, and I don’t feel like I’m being me.

It’s tiring. Exhausting even.

It zaps all my energy and enthusiasm for the rest of my trip, and I keep wondering if I should just cut it short and head home.

I miss my life in New York. I miss my routine. I miss my friends. I miss the afternoons reading at El Beit with a delicious cappuccino. I miss counseling. I miss learning.

I miss knowing in my bones, my heart, and my soul that I am living my purpose, and in accordance with my values.

Right now, I feel like I’m just traveling for traveling’s sake. But the type of trip I wanted was more of a spiritual journey.

This morning, during the ferry crossing from Rach Gia, one of the guys and I were talking about which beaches we wanted to go to. I mentioned I would love to go to one of the beaches in the south of the island because I had heard there were no other people there. The idea of having the whole beach to myself is very appealing.

He wondered out loud why a deserted beach would be so attractive to people. In his opinion, a whole beach for himself would be nice, but he would want to have people around after a short while.

I told him that, for me, a beach all to myself is appealing because it’s a place where you can be by yourself with nature unspoiled by the touch of man. A place where you can be in awe and appreciation at the wonder of the vastness and creativity of nature.

He said he thought it was the opposite: that a deserted beach appealed to people because it somehow gave them a sense of power.

While that may be the case for some, I disagree. For me, the appeal lies in being one with nature, attaining a sense of peace.

And once this thought popped into my head, it struck me that I didn’t need a deserted beach to be at peace. It’s nice to have that experience, but I don’t need it.

I would still like to visit this part of the island, but I know I can find peace anywhere.

The peace I seek is found within me.

This, again, made me wonder why I’m still traveling. I know that, whatever I am searching for, I will find inside me.

Furthermore, I felt a deeper sense of peace, and closer to what I seek, back in Brooklyn.

So I am torn.

Torn because I feel I lost my way and the energy I felt shinning so strongly from within me at the beginning of this journey is dimmed, and I want it back. Torn because, despite this, I still want to visit a lot of places before I go home.

Part of me thinks I should just go back home. This doesn’t feel right anymore. I feel I’m just drifting, following the currents of a path not my own.

But perhaps the solution isn’t to head home, but to break away from the group and travel on my own. Follow my own intuition. Make my own decisions.

I think re-reading “The Alchemist” (which I just finished last night), helped me tremendously.

And also, even though we haven’t met up here in Vietnam yet, the proximity of my friend Yvonne has been an inspiration.

I met her while traveling in New Zealand and was hoping to see her again while we both traveled in Southeast Asia. I knew that, by this time, she would probably be in the same region as me. Turns out, she just got to Phu Quoc yesterday and is staying until November 27th!

Like I said, I haven’t run into her yet. But her nearby presence reminded me of her fierce independence, which I admire. In my head, I had a “conversation” with her, as I know she would ask me why not just travel on my own.

This thought has popped up a couple of times before, but I haven’t taken it seriously out of fear: first, fear for my security, second, fear of being lonely, and, third, because traveling alone is more expensive.

But, while taking precautions is important, I know I shouldn’t base my decisions on fear. Plus, my fears and insecurities about it are a good indication that this would be the right path to follow.

Especially because, asides from the “scary”, there is also… the “exhilarating”!