I Can’t Keep Living a Lie

Is it courage? Maybe… Or maybe it’s just necessity.

I can’t keep living a lie… Or maybe not a lie, but the things that are not as true for me as this.

(Sometimes I think I lack conviction, but this here is proof that it’s not true… I actually have a lot of it. Maybe too much.)

Maybe this is reckless and not how ‘life should be lived.’

But there’s so many ways to live life. Why listen to those who don’t choose deliberately, but follow and conform to the default?

Are they happier?

Not really… They are just more comfortable.

[Excerpt from my written musings this morning. Picture taken of chocolat chaud and a cafe creme at Cafe de Flore, one of the oldest and most prestigious coffee houses in Paris, where (eventually) famous writers and philosophers used to sit, ponder and discuss life].


On Being Selfish



For the artist, the best work comes through unfiltered expression. Trying to compromise to be liked, to entertain, to make bank, will always result in diluted work and also dissatisfaction.
It’s rare to find instances where selfishness is named as something good, but in this instance, selfishness is actually what benefits both the artist and the audience.

In our lives, it often happens also, that we compromise and shortchange ourselves to please others. Out of fear of looking bad, losing friends, losing respect, not being liked.

But what if we were convinced of our worth and value, so much so that we weren’t stopped by the thought of how it will be received? What if our confidence and comfort with our full range of emotions (including loneliness) was so unshakeable that we didn’t feel the need to shrink to please others or fit in? What if we put ourselves first, fill ourselves up, so that we can be of service to others?

I bet that courage and self-expression would be a huge inspiration, and a huge contribution to everyone around us.

Sometimes what feels selfish can be the thing that’s necessary, the thing that makes way for whatever is wanting to be given through us (sometimes without our knowing), to come through.

So the question is… Who are we NOT to be selfish

 People might be missing out on gifts because we are so fucking busy trying to be liked.

Grateful Tuesday #12: Thank Goodness!

Hello, darlings!

Let me start right off and say how grateful I am that the train am on at this very moment arrived! The announcement box said I would have to wait 27 minutes, but thank goodness it was only a few. I’m very happy the announcement was lying!

That is #1 (and most present right now) in my weekly list of 5-7 things I’m grateful for.

#2 I’m grateful for by beautiful apartment. It really is gorgeous, and a constant reminder that I can conjure up the perfect thing I want… and it will come with a few bonus pleasant surprises. Mhhhmmm, yes!

#3 I’m grateful for all the support I’m getting in developing a new line of self-care products, and for all the positive feedback from the few samples I’ve given out so far. Very exciting stuff!

#4 I’m grateful for great friends who are not afraid of saying the things that need to be said, no matter how ugly they might sound, in order for me to get out of my own way.

#5 Relatedly, I’m grateful for the courage to actually listen to criticism and take it on, while not taking it personally.

#6 I’m grateful for my willingness to believe in the good of people, the world and the universe… even when all signs point to the contrary and resignation is the most logical thing. In those moments of resignation, that small ember that is always burning… It’s the reason I pick myself up, dust myself off and try again. Yes, I’m grateful for that.

#7 I’m grateful to have ‘problems’ that are not problems for over 99% of the world. I’m so lucky.

What are you grateful for, dear reader?

I’d love to read about what’s good for you this week in the comments section.

Until next week…

With love and grAttitude,


When That Small Voice Shows Up

There’s that part of us that wants us to stay small.


Despite how painful it might be, staying small is in many ways easier.


It’s more comfortable. It’s what we know.


So that voice that jumps up and tells you  you can’t, you shouldn’t, your not good enough? That voice is designed to keep you were you are.


It’s designed to scare you, but it is not evil as many ego-bashers would have you believe.


It scares you because it’s scared, not because it seeks to harm you. It scares you because it’s scared of taking that leap out of your comfort zone and believe what that other voice says:


Yes, I can. Yes, I’m strong. Yes, I am enough.


And that small voice serves another purpose; it presents a challenge. A choice.


In doing so, it plants a seed. A possibility that, if watered, can grow into full bloom.


This small voice brings with it potential. Potential for expansion. It brings the opportunity to choose whether we believe it or not.


Do we want to stand in our knowledge that we are strong, gorgeous, flowing, sexy, smart, fun, successful, deserving, open goddesses/gods? Or do we want to believe we are small and needy?


Who do we choose to be, every moment?


The truth is, the largest potential for growth lies in watering the seed, not the full grown tree.


That small voice that makes us feel fearful, separate and alone presents us with a choice between terror (hide, run away) and vulnerability (stay open, see what happens).


This can be the most fertile soil if we know how to work with it. If we stick around.


This is why, when this voice shows up? Notice. Be grateful. Water it with love and appreciation for the role it plays in your journey. For being there for you in your learning.


And then try to stay open.


See if you can sit in that uncomfortable space without trying to change what is. It’s your opportunity to practice equanimity (or radical acceptance).


And as you allow the feelings and thoughts to flow through you without snagging on resistance, you’ll see the nuances… the changes. You’ll see how fickle those thoughts and emotions are.


And then you’ll see them float away leaving you feeling more loving towards yourself for not having shut that part of you down.


Leaving you feeling courageous for having allowed yourself to be the full expression of you.




Jump in!

Did you find this helpful? What are your thoughts? Please leave your comments, reflections and experiences below.