I’m feeling sad and angry

Woke up feeling sad and pissed off. And I’m not going to ‘fix’ it.

Sometimes (most times, I would argue), you just need to let the feelings be instead of judging them and calling them wrong.

Trying to manage and change your emotional experience all the time not only is exhausting, but also sends a signal to yourself that you’re not ok as you are.

That there’s something wrong with you for feeling the way you feel.

And even when you have no clue why you’re feeling that way, it’s best to practice acceptance of what is.

It’s a practice of self-love, no matter how you feel.

And the other gift it brings, asides from confidence, freedom and enjoyment, is that in letting yourself feel the feeling, you gain insights on yourself and your patterns that you wouldn’t have gotten otherwise.

Don’t chop yourself off from your feelings.

It’s inflicting self-violence and it only leads to fragmentation and disconnection.

So take a deep breath, and feel what’s there to feel without judgment.

I promise you’ll feel massive amounts of self-love, gratitude, and love for people and life.

  

Wake Up with Me

I recently committed to 3 hours of movement per week.

My body has been asking for it, and I’ve been much too sedentary since I’ve been working so much with my computer.

I fell into a rut of feeling too tired to exercise, which was enabling a downward spiral of staying put >> low energy >> staying put.

I did pretty goody the first week, but it felt constraining after, and I’ve been moving around so much that making it to the gym has been a bit of a challenge.

I thought my commitment to movement had to be something like working out at the gym or some formal class.

Instead of giving up, I decided to include movement in all forms, and counting dance breaks and walks and stretching into the 3-hours per week commitment.

The last few days I started adding back a practice of stretching and dancing in the morning, to warm up my muscles, wake up my body and ground into it to start the day deliciously.

This is the result:

 

I’ve found, or rather ‘re-membered,’ that this morning ritual shifts completely whatever I was feeling, that I can tap into the wisdom in my body, and it wakes up my appetite for something healthy and nourishing, as opposed to some sweet treat in the morning.

It frees up my back, I feel lighter and more nimble, and it sets me up to make decisions based on what is good for me instead of what feels good in the moment.

I find myself fighting less with myself and having to use my will power a lot less. Instead, I just feel like doing what I need to be doing for myself.

It’s fantastic, and I’m so happy I’m remembering this practice and feel so committed to continuing it.

And it occurred to me, that perhaps you’d like to come along for the ride.

Soooo…. I’ve been toying with the idea of a series called Wake Up With Melody, where I post a video of my morning routine, share about the music, and thoughts on current events and something to inspire you.

What do you think? What kinds of things would you like to see in this series?

Don’t be shy! Let me know in the comments!

And if you’d like to receive these, please sign up for the mailing list here.

This is your formal invitation into a more intimate slice of my life, where you get to wake up with me and maybe dance along.

Big love and gratitude always,

 

Melody

On Being Selfish

  

  

For the artist, the best work comes through unfiltered expression. Trying to compromise to be liked, to entertain, to make bank, will always result in diluted work and also dissatisfaction.
It’s rare to find instances where selfishness is named as something good, but in this instance, selfishness is actually what benefits both the artist and the audience.

In our lives, it often happens also, that we compromise and shortchange ourselves to please others. Out of fear of looking bad, losing friends, losing respect, not being liked.

But what if we were convinced of our worth and value, so much so that we weren’t stopped by the thought of how it will be received? What if our confidence and comfort with our full range of emotions (including loneliness) was so unshakeable that we didn’t feel the need to shrink to please others or fit in? What if we put ourselves first, fill ourselves up, so that we can be of service to others?

I bet that courage and self-expression would be a huge inspiration, and a huge contribution to everyone around us.

Sometimes what feels selfish can be the thing that’s necessary, the thing that makes way for whatever is wanting to be given through us (sometimes without our knowing), to come through.

So the question is… Who are we NOT to be selfish

 People might be missing out on gifts because we are so fucking busy trying to be liked.

He Strikes Again: Dealing With That Loud Inner Critic

It’s a great practice to not compare ourselves so much with others. Or at the very least, to use it for inspiration instead of tearing ourselves down.

I have to admit, as I do my research to see who my ‘competition’ for my upcoming offerings is and even just as I scroll through my news feeds on various social media platforms, it’s so easy for my insecure inner critic to start telling me how I can’t do what they are doing.

It looks at offerings similar to what I want to do and says that it’s already out there and no one will care. That I shouldn’t even bother.

Give up. You’re not good enough.

Yes. That’s there.

the reason we struggle with insecurity is because we judge ourselves by our content and everyone else by their cover quote Melody Kiersz

Didn’t your mama teach you?

And at the same time, there’s another voice that’s whispering and less audible, but I can hear it.

It says,…

It’s so awesome that those offerings exist because people are getting so much value out of them, feeling better about themselves and gaining power and confidence. That’s what we want, no? Even if it’s not through US.

Plus, your offering is not exactly the same and it comes through you. It has a different voice, and you can reach different people. Isn’t that cool?

And yes, isn’t that cool? I think so.

Of course, I don’t want to make the critic wrong: he is there because he wants me to stay safe, instead of risk what he sees as sure rejection.

I tell it firmly, that just because certain things didn’t work out in the past doesn’t mean they won’t work out now. I’m older and wiser and learned from my mistakes, and I’m also learning a lot more about marketing. And I thank him for his input, because I know he does it out of wanting to take care of me.

Whenever I hear this comparing critic, I thank him for wanting to protect me. Then I look for that other voice which isn’t as strident and pay more attention to what she’s saying. She inspires me to get out of my comfort zone and move forward.

Jump in!

How do you deal with your inner critic? What are some of the voices that keep you from putting your authentic heart desires and offerings out there?

All the intensity. None of the drama.

Watercolor by Marion Bolognesi

These days I’m feeling so much.

So muuuuuuuuuch.

It’s really quite ridiculous.

From the highs of ever-expanding joy, to the highs of deep cracks opening my heart even wider. Receiving all that there is, no matter what it is.

Letting myself be loved and seen and received in whichever way the other party loves, sees and receives me.

Without worrying about where things will go; If I do this, or that. Or don’t.

Just letting the depth of my true, soft vulnerability show in my heart and in my eyes and in my body.

So exquisite!

And so hard to describe.

You probably have no idea what I’m talking about. Or perhaps the sensations are so familiar that my words strike a chord.

This is the moment. The moment in which there is a choice:

To relax into the cracking, or contract around it trying to protect myself.

It’s really not a choice though. What good will it do me to contract?

Hearts were made to be broken, and in their breaking they become larger and more whole, able to contain even more.

That is the paradox.

Who Do You Have To Be?

Even after 10 years, I sometimes still can’t believe I live in New York City.

What’s more, how did I get so lucky that the view from my rooftop is the perfect postcard image of the famous Manhattan skyline?

Yes, there are a lot of things that could be better… and New Yorkers like to make a sport of complaining about them.

But, last night, standing in silence on a pier in Brooklyn facing the breathtaking view, hearing the hum and feeling the pulse of the city make it’s way through my body…

My heart felt full.

In these quiet moments, the city has a way of demanding your attention. Of almost forcing you to stop and contemplate all the dreams and dreamers that move and shake in this city. The ones that are born here, and the ones that come with a sense of adventure, courage, hope and just the right amount of madness.

In the wind, you can almost hear all the stories of immigrants arriving in this city decades and even over a hundred years ago, passing by the Statue of Liberty and stepping onto the Land of Opportunity with their American Dream.

More than that… You can almost experience the stories yourself, as if the wind possessed you with magical qualities so you could try on a time when things were different, and yet very much the same.

People continue to flock to New York City with their dreams, and this is what is so inspiring and energizing about it.

This random ritual of walking up to the East River and gazing upon the Empire State, United Nations, and Chrysler buildings amongst all the other less identifiable ones always ends up being somewhat of a devotional experience.

It feels as if I’m paying homage to the city.

And why not? I do love it here.

As urban and gritty as it is, it is also a city of dreams and aspirations where people really do believe anything is possible.

When all these skyscrapers we see now were being built with the goal of them being the tallest buildings in the world,… it hadn’t been done before!

The engineers, architects and everyone on those teams had to firmly believe in their ability to complete the project even though it was something they had no experience with.

And what a perfect analogy, eh?

What is your Empire State Building in this moment?

What is something that you want, but you have no idea who you’d have to be or how to go about attaining it? Can you trust that it’s possible, even though you lack the knowledge?

I’d really love to hear about it in the comments section. Remember: you create with your word, so claim it loud and proud!

And after you do that, also remember that the risks those engineers took paid off.

The Empire State Building is still standing.

Now go build yours.

Bringing You Melody

Happy Monday, Beloveds!

As part of my move towards more authenticity and freedom and just plain sharing whatever is making it’s way through me, I will be posting more about things that inspire me. Perhaps they inspire you too?

Please let me know what you like in the comments, and maybe even link to what inspires you!

For starters, this live DJ set of ‘Recurring’ by Bonobo turns me on. It is utterly yummy, and makes my body want to move in a soft but curiously explorative way. Give it a try!

Recurring (Live) by Bonobo

 

 

Don’t Be Jealous. Be Inspired!

Dear Beloveds,

Happy 2012! And, as one of my friends just told me, happy infinity as well!

I am writing to you today from beautiful Had Tien beach in Koh Phangan, Thailand… where, despite the fact that it’s now 4:40 pm, the celebration is still going strong.

It’s such a joy for me to be able to spend a few months here every year to recharge.

When people find out about my yearly ‘break,’ their reaction tends to be…

I’m so jealous.

You know what I say to that?

Don’t be jealous. Be inspired!

The honest truth is that everyone can have this sort of freedom. They only need to believe it is so, and then put things into motion to make it happen (or allow it to happen) in their life.

I speak from personal experience, and I cannot stress enough the idea that we can have it all! Yes, we can have the cake, eat it… and love ourselves and our body!

I can hear those voices in your head right now.

How??? No, we can’t. It’s impossible. Life just doesn’t work that way. If it did, no one would be miserable. Only the lucky or special ones can have that, and I’m not lucky or special. I don’t deserve it.

And that is the difference!

Those ‘lucky’ or ‘special’ people? The only difference between them and you is that they feel good enough.

They feel really truly worthy of what they desire, so they go and get it.

They don’t let pesky voices stop them. Their belief in their deservingness is so strong that there is no self-sabotage happening.

This year, I invite you to really look at those voices in your head and ask yourself if you really truly believe them.

If the answer is ‘no,’ then follow it up with writing down what it is that you do believe about yourself. And throughout the year, practice reminding yourself of this, your true thought-feeling, whenever the voices come up.

I wish you the most pleasure-filled, ecstatic, transformational year… yet!

 

 

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If you enjoyed this post, are a woman, and one of your resolutions is to harness your power and create a life full of vibrant health, energy, creativity, sensuality and passion, you might be interested in my upcoming Orgasmic Woman: Self-Love & Sensuality Retreat.

11 scrumptious women will get to join me in this Thai paradise to explore practical ways to bring more bliss into their lives on every level (physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual).

This is the year that you get comfortable in your own skin!

I want this for you so bad that I’m doing something totally crazy:

I’m offering a 50% discount for women who sign up before January 15.

This is your year! Are you ready to take it on?

Musings by the Muse: #1

I’m inspired.

 

What inspires you?

 

Personally, lately my source of inspiration have been all the ah-mazing people I’m surrounded with.

My family, both birth and chosen, is pretty fantastic.

 

Super supportive, always willing to listen, help and celebrate together. And everyone is so creative!

 

I’m also inspired by all the random strangers I cross paths with every day.

 

And, let me tell you, in New York City, I corss paths with a lot of people on the subway and the streets.

 

These strangers seem so focused to me.. So grounded.

 

While I am grounded in my body and my practices, I tend to be a very much go with the flow kind of person. I live in the moment, and this is valuable.

 

But there’s also something to be relished about being in the world, so connected with the rythms of routine and a more structured life.

 

I feel there’s something I can learn from these strangers at this point in my life,

 

And so I’m seeing that as much as I’m here to inspire you, you also inspire me.

 

And you inspire me to inspire you.

 

We give breath to each other. A reason and a purpose to the unfolding of our lives.

 

I’m taking a pause to honor this and take the time to be in awe of this bigger picture.

 

And to be grateful.

 

Jump in!

What are your sources of inspiration, recent or past?